Lets face it life is hard enough with all of the hoops you have to jump through during a day, why add to that by carrying the burdens of other people's needs, who won't get up or move to change their situation. Sure it feels good helping out from time to time but that can come back to haunt you if you're not careful. I mean you can become a safty net, ladder or crutch for someone who is not doing what he/she should be doing in life. You want to be home like the next person but that's not always possible.
Everything happens in seasons, but just know that, it's been several seasons that you've been helping out that loved one or close friend whose trying to get their life back on track. Worse when you pop up at their home, you find them sleep, or watching a ton of movies with a variety of snacks, what the hell, you think to yourself. You're being played and your bank account somehow is attached to their needs and living home without a care in the world. Yet, they have not gotten up to do for themselves, you're feeling the weight of their needs coming before your own family needs or resposibilities.
It's crazy because you find yourself not wanting to see them without anything, yet you are walking around with a hole in the bottom of your shoe that you have been packing with paper for the last few months. What's wrong with this picture? Have you become so used to doing for others that you have forgotten why you are working in the first place? You have too much independence and pride to lay your responsibilities on someone elses shoulders, but not everyone is you.
Know that people will gladly rest their feet on your shoulders, having you take care of your family and their own. Before you realize it, you are now behind on your own bills and struggling to eat. You have not been able to take your car in for repairs since lending a helping hand, now things in your home are breaking down. Whose fault is that? You'd better not tell that loved one or friend that you've been helping that they've gotten down deep in your pockets that you have fallen behind on you own debts, bills and responsiblites, they are not going to allow you to place that responsibilty on them. Know that if you don't get to the bottom of things it will cause you major damage.
This can take a toll on your relationship
You can end up stressed out
You can end up with anxiety
You can have relationship battles because you won't say no.
You can lose your savings
Now how do you feel, knowing that you made the choice to help, it's been two, maybe five years and you are still helping out this same person. Take it as a learning lesson and be mad at yourself. You should have stopped yourself a long time ago. As long as you were paying they were taking, now you can't give anymore, you just no longer have it to do. On top of that your relationship with them is not the same and you find yourself, disrespected and talked down to at every turn. Pull it together, get yourself back on track and keep your money in your pocket. Whatever is going on in that person's life, I am sure that they will find another to rest their burdens on, but for now you are done being a foot stool!
Cut your loses and move on. If you relationship with them is able to recover, wonderful but keep you paycheck out of it. If it's not able to recover, take it as a learning lesson and know that a true relationship is all about give and take. You were caught up on the giving and they the taking, no balance in that!
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