Just yesterday you were having the time of your lives, but that was some fifteen years ago. Today you are on the verge of tears at the thought of divorcing your partner whom you spent most of your life with. You were pretty close after the birth of your second child, whose now having growing pains of their own and you and your spouse still haven't gotten your shit together. You have been spending less and less time together over the past few years and fear that this year, you will go through the dance of avoidance, which is common before divorce, I should say. What is it? I mean have you just run out of loving each other or is it something deeper? There is no need to beat yourself up over the head, you knew this was coming and have gone over all of the what if's in your head for some time. Face it, you no longer sleep in the same bed together, it's as if you two have been roommates for the last few years.
Maybe you have not noticed, but roommates eventually move out into their own space. This is where your relationship has landed, with no commuication and secrecy. Hey you have been riding this ride now for sometime, why stop to think about it now? What do you want to happen? You have been unhappy spinning your wheels as they say to make it appear to be a happy home too family and friends when you both are not even friends. I take it, the reality of what is about to happen leaves you in fear of the unknown. You are not sure if this is the route you should take, yet you have done nothing to stop it or maybe you have. You are about to enter into the world of divorce and it's not pretty. You can feel your blood boil and your anixety rise at the thought of your marriage failing and your uncooperative partner not giving a damn. Once again you are left with the reality that you will be single in a world where finding a partner is all but impossible, and now you are unsure if you want to go down that road.
I take it you have seen more relationship counselors than you would like to admit and your relationship is still in the toilet. But whose fault is that? Have you done everything that the expert advised you to do or try or did you think those ideas were stupid? What have you done to make this relationship work? What is clear is that you've done nothing other than complain and feel confused. What type of relationship you expect to get back on track with those tactics. If you want your relationship to work, you must fight for it. I take it you both have loss interest in each other, but it took two for that too happen and it will take two for it to return. You thought about making it work like your grandparents, but who are they kidding, life is not worth misery in your mind. Do you feel there is no hope for your relationship? Are you willing to fight one last time? Have you called it quits and just waiting on the right time to exit? At the end of the day if you two aren't talking you are placing blame on the other for the state of your relationship.
Before you throw in the towel, call it quits or run for the hills you must check your soul and your emotions for the right answer. Many couples divorce only to relalize how much they are still in love with that person they no longer have. Very few have a happy ending to divorce in that they both did the right thing. When you are an emotional wreck, know that your feelings will and can have you feeling and believing somthing that's not the truth.
To learn more about how Johanna see's divorce pick up your copy of The Elephant in the Bed," and "Bruised Hearts," today. www.johannasparrow.com