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Do You Owe Them An Explanation?

You've opened your mouth and promised someone that you were going to support them or just be there for them, but you can't. The first thing people like to do is pull the adult card that says, I have the right to change my mind if I want too. Guess what? You have that right, but how fair is it? Isn't it your responsiblily to do more and say more than, I am not able to do what I promised you? Tell me is that so hard to say when you are about to break a promise? Many relationships end on a negative note for just this reason. Being able to change your mind for any reason is not a crime. But having an dismissive attitude is!

Do you owe someone an explanation?

It all depends on the relationship, granted you should be able to do whatever you want to do, but at what cost and what loss? If you promise a group of buddies you would go out drinking with them the next weekend and you can't, an explanation would be nice. If you promise someone you would give them money and now you are in a financial bind yourself, an explanation instead of avoidence would be the ultmate route you should take especially if it was told to family or a dear friend. Having a whatever, so what attitude is not cool! if you find yourself dealing with this type of behavior, cut your losses, the realtionship is clearly not worth it.

Get your feelings out of the way of doing what is right. Some situations simply don't need an explanation, I get that but others do and you would be a fool to lump them all under the title, I can do what I want. Keep in mind you have the right to change your mind a hundred times a day if not more, but think about who it is you are disappointing in the process and how not having the right attitude or approach can leave your friendship/relationship damaged. That person may not ever come to you and say what you owe them or promised them, just know that if the relationship has taken a somewhat distant approach maybe it's something you said you were going to do and never follwed through. At the end of the day giving an olive branch is better than a dismissive and noncaring attitude.

To learn more of Johanna's views on relationships visit her at

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