You may not have the perfect in-laws and wish you could trade them in for someone else, but you can't so deal with it. Your relationship with your spouse has had it's fair share of ups and downs and your in-laws seem to know the ins and out of your martial issues. Your in-laws have not been the best with you over the years and guess what, you don't care. Maybe it's time to stop talking about your problems to them since they are not keeping an open mind.
One minute they love your spouse and the next minute they are finding fault in everthying they do and hoping you do also. You have had enough of this back and forth. Don't think getting your parents to sit down and talk about their feelings is going to make things better, it just may make them worse. You have to learn to respect how everyone feels including your spouse. When the time is right your spouse and parents will work things out, but for now it's your job to not pick sides. I know you love everyone and although they don't see eye to eye you are wishing they all get along. Allow everyone to work on when they want this to take place.
Don't allow your in-laws to have you take things out on your relationship because they are not accepting of you. Learn to respect how to feel and move on. Great news, you don't have to live with them so worrying about how they feel about your spouse should be in one ear and out the other. Futhermore your relationship should not feel as if you are dealing with outlaws pretending to be family.
You know when someone doesn't like you so stop trying to get along with everyone in the family because it is not realistic. If you are not feeling your in-laws and find that your spouse is not happy with your feelings, let them know to give you time. Getting along with everyone should be done when you are ready and not when your spouse feels they are ready. Below is a list of ways to allow your in-laws in your life.
Allow them to express their feelings.
Don't take things personal.
Know that you are taking baby steps to working out the relationship and it will take time.
Give yourself time to work things out and not feel pressured by your spouse to do so.
The health of your relationship is the important more so than how your in-laws feel about you. Don't allow their personal views to destroy your relationship or worse have you and your spouse at each others throats. You can respect how everyone is feeling by staying out of it and allowing them to work it out. Be prepared to know that your in-laws may never like you. Know it's not their job to accept you into their family and if that is the case your relationship with your spouse is not going to be affected unless you allow it to be affected. Sometimes respecting the other person's feelings is the best relationship you could ever have.
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