Author Johanna Sparrow
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Moving On From Divorce Is No Walk In The Park.

June 9, 2016

It's no secret your relationship is over and you've found it hard to move on with your life, but moving on is just the first step after divorce.

 

What do you do with your emotions now that you are divorce?

 

Did you think getting over your ex would be easy after divorce?

 

The fact that you have come to a place where you are looking at your life as a single person has hit you right smack in the face. Who are you kidding, you have been going through the motions of ending your marriage for some time now and now that its final you battle with the possibilities of what could have been followed by a ton of if's and why?  Confusion and your ability to let go of the only love you've known is stronger than ever, but you are divorced. 

 

If this is what you wanted why can't you move on? 

 

Divorce is never easy for anyone. You walk away from a life with someone you've loved and the realization of that being gone is hard to imagine for many who now find themselves alone. Should you date or shouldn't is now the question? How long should wait before getting back in the game of finding a partner is not easy especially when you are struggling with trust?  Right now it does not matter how you got to this place in your life, what matters is your next move. 

 

Can you trust again?

 

Of course you can, but it will take letting go of your fear of being hurt. Divorce does not mean you won't ever love again. It's just means that the relationship you were so invested in has come to an end.  Your blender of emotions stops you from moving on with your life. Sure you will be out of sorts for a while because you have a broken heart, but your life is not over and you should know that.

 

Do you still love your ex now that the ink has dried?

 

Yes, there is nothing wrong with your feelings. Face it, you may not have been ready to call it quits like you thought you were and so many possibilities of what you two could have had together is over.  This is not the time to scream over spilled milk, it's time for you to move on with your life no matter how difficult it seems. Depending on why you divorced in the first place you had come to a place where you were ready to transition to the next phase in your life and knew that your ability to trust and love this person was over. Now is not the time to beat yourself up over the decision you made to walk away from marriage.

 

Could you have stuck it out and made it work?

 

It all depends on if you or your partner was ready to go. You can't stay with someone who you no longer loves or respects you. No matter how you feel at this moment you will get past those feelings of sadness, depression, betrayal and loneliness. Your heart may ache now but it won't for long and that is what you can look forward to knowing. Give yourself time to grieve the loss of your relationship since losing someone feels like death.  You've buried your heart when you signed the divorce papers and although it feels as if you will never be the same, know that those feelings and emotions or but a moment that will pass leaving you stronger.

 

Below is a list of ways to move past your hurt and pain following divorce.

 

  • Pressure- don't allow the pressures of what others think of you to keep you in a sad place. Never try to please others in order to appear as if you've moved on. 

  • Fear- moving on with your life can appear difficult after a divorce. Life around you has not changed so embrace each and every new moment that life presents your way. If you are not ready to meet new people, it's okay. 

 

 

  • Acceptance- It's really happened, you are finally divorced, and it's not like it's a big surprise or shock, you both knew this was coming whether you was totally prepared for it or not. Be strong since you will have good and bad days. Remind yourself why you are in this place in your life and trust yourself that you will get on with your life. 

  • Patience-You can't rush the healing process of a broken heart. There will be days when you regret divorcing and days when you knew you made the right choice. Don't get side tracked when you start crying it's just your heart purging out the old feelings you've had in your relationship.

  • Trust-This not the time to doubt yourself or how far you've come with your emotions and feelings. It's okay to be sad or not want to get out of bed, but trust yourself and the process that you will have better days to come. This is only the beginning.

Getting to a place where you are no longer struggling with being divorced is going to take some time. Have a strong support team around you who understands what you are going through and can help you cope on those days when life seems unfair. The only thing left for you to do after a divorce is breath and work on your hurting heart. Anger is your worse enemy at this time and no one expects you to be smiling all over the place. Take each day as it comes, work on making yourself happy by doing things you love.

 

The world has just opened up to you in a new way and there is so much more for you to experience as time goes by.  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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