Author Johanna Sparrow
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Don't Play Yourself....Rules for Dating

December 15, 2016

 

You’ve been dating this person for over six months and you are ready to commit, but they have not given you the signal that they're all in.  How long should you wait? You have been going out of your way to show them how much you care for them and they have done little to show you how they feel.  Why won’t they give you a chance?  What are you doing wrong? For starters you are not going to win over the love you want by doing everything nice and sweet, it’s not going to happen.   You need to change your position and pull back on your affection.

 

Face the Facts

 

If you think by giving someone everything they want, you will get the relationship you seek, you are playing yourself and have a lot to learn when it comes to dating.  You have ignored a few signs and signals in the dating process so pull back your gift giving strategy and attention and focus on what you need from the other person.  Here is the deal; if you are working hard on getting into a relationship with them and they are telling you they are not looking for a relationship, you are playing yourself at this point.  If they are not into you the way you are into them, they may not want to hurt your feelings, so know when to stop trying.  You are not going to win by throwing yourself on someone who does not want to be in a relationship with you.

 

 

 

How do I protect My Feelings?

 

To protect your feelings, you must stop putting yourself out there with someone who shows you little too no interest.  You must learn to question things that don't feel right or risk getting hurt later on down the road.  Stop wishing and praying they care for you the way you care for them and pull yourself together.  Desperation gets you nothing in life, but used and abused.   People don't fall in love with you because you're nice.  They fall in love with someone they feel they can relate to, communicate with and most of all trust.  A night out with dinner and a movie is not going to cut it when it comes dating in 2016.  The only way to protect yourself from getting hurt in the dating process is to listen to what the other person is telling you and respect it.  At this point some folks are better left in the friend zone!

 

  • Take your time getting to know the person you are dating.

  • Keep sex out of the dating process, you have plenty time for that later.

  • Communication is the key in any relationship.

  • Listening is a good trait to have in the dating world.

 

Being yourself is the best advice I can give, it costs nothing.  If the person you are dating does not respect that, it’s time to date other people.   You should not be giving your heart away to everyone you have a good time with, dating does not work this way.  Ask the hard questions early on in the relationship since you see playing it by ear in hopes of gaining a relationship out of your time spent together is not always promising.

 

 

 Should I call It Quits?

 

It all depends on you and what you are willing to put up with in the waiting process.  If you really like this person and see they are not into you as much as you would like them to be, let them go and start dating again.  Your happiness is important and you should think of you before putting someone else ahead of your feeling that doesn’t have your best interest at heart.  It’s not too late to pull your heart back and gain respect for yourself.  Many people seem to become interested when they no longer have the attention of the other person.  You should seek out a relationship with someone who wants to date and commit themselves to you, not someone who is looking for a friend with benefits kind of situation.

 

Below is a list of why you need to let go.

 

  • You may not get the answers you want.

  • They may not be the one for you.

  • They are not interested in a relationship with you.

  • You did not ask the right questions early in the dating process.

  • It's okay to be alone.

 

Getting what you want will happen when you least expect it to happen and that’s the beauty of dating.   Giving your heart to someone is not always fun and you find yourself dealing with heartbreak in the process, but don’t give up on dating.  If someone won’t commit to you take it as a blessing and continue dating and asking those hard questions early in the dating process. Before you know it, you will be happy and in love. 

 

 

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