Toxic Mother- Daughter Relationship
Your relationship with your mother may not be a good one, and as a daughter you have distanced yourself. When a mother seeks to hurt and destroy her daughter the only thing that can heal those war torn wounds is time. Yes, time heals all things whether we belive it or not, it also gives us time to reflect on what role we have played in the toxic relationship. For many daughters a mother is to love and protect. For mothers her daughters are to respect her and stay loyal and true. News flash, some mothers don't receive that because they are not loyal and true to their own daughters. Tell me something, how can replacing your daugther for someone else's daugther make you loyal and trust worthy as a mother, it doesn't to your daughters.
When a mother talks about her daughter to her friends, church members and family what is really happening here? What type of mother turns other women and young women against her daughter by making her out to be the bad guy in the relationship? Yet this happens everyday to mother-daughter relationships, and we have no control over it no more than we've had in past. It's not enough for a daughter to feel that her mother does not love her and runs out to replace that love with anyone from a man, to another younger woman. Daughters issue the same bitter love hate treatment to their mothers that they don't like. Not every mother/dauther relationship goes down the road of friendship. Some are heartless and rejecting to each other just as a normal part of ones day, sad to think about!
Talking about you behind your back to family and friends, its not cool.
Building new relationships with other young women or older women while avoiding the toxic realtionship you have with each other.
Turning others against each other as a way to control and add more hurt and pain.
Exculding your mother or your daughter from events you have with others.
Telling other women in your family the issues you have with each other.
Pushing each other away and making time for folks who don't deserve your attention, or have no problems making one of you an outcast to the other.
Don't be cruel and say mean things you know that you will never be able to take back.
If this is not what you want seek out help or counseling to fix your troubled relationship.
It never fails how other broken women find a role in your relationship with your mother/daughter. You would be amazed how many selfish people are in the world, your inner circle and your family, who have no problems playing the role of the dauther to your mother or mother to your daughter. Don't be fooled thinking that you've found someone special when they jump right into one of those roles, you haven't. Hurting people have no problem helping to beat up or align themselves with others. I mean they could not take down their own mother or daughter so they take it out on someone else's relationship.
God does not like ugly and when this happens, you will see how far in life those folks go before every relationship they try to have comes crashing down. If you are in this type of relationship find ways to keep other's out of your business and from trying to destroy what little relationship you have with each other. If that means you need to keep your distance, by all means take it! A toxic relationship can never heal if the person who is negative is full of hate, negativity, hurt and un-forgivness. As a daughter I have learned a great deal from dealing with people and the role they play, everyone is looking for something.
If you can't see eye to eye or work to make your rleationship better, step away and work on youself. One thing is for sure, you will either grow together or far apart!!!
Coming December 2015 Learn the Do's and Don'ts for a healthier relationship.